Question:

I would like to know how I can deal with bitterness arising from raising my children alone, when their fathers just don't show any interest. I have two daughters, one from before marriage, and one out of wedlock. I'm divorced now, but both my children's fathers refuse to have take any interest in them, both financially and emotionally.

It's very painful for me, as well as financially, it's hard for me, to the point that I sometimes become so bitter, as I have to be a mom and dad, when their dads are still alive.

Please advise on what the Bible say is the best way to deal with this.

Answer:

You must realize that bitterness is an attitude that you chose to take toward life. Bitterness is not imposed on you. The things that have happened to you don't make you bitter; you chose to be bitter about the things that have happened.

Since it is something you chose to pick up, you can also chose to put it down. "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). Fill in the gap that it leaves with good things. "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).

While you hold bitterness against your former sex partners, the sad fact remains that you chose to have sex with them in circumstances that God warned against. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). God told you it was wrong, but you decided to do it anyway. Now you know, the hard way, that there was a reason God said having sex outside of marriage is sinful. These men wanted sex without binding themselves in a commitment. It is not at all surprising, then, that they avoid taking responsibility for what they have done.

At least these two girls have a mother who loves them and is willing to be their mother. You have given them more than the bums who donated the sperm. I hope that one day you will find a man who proves his love by marrying you first before jumping into bed with you. I hope he takes these two girls in as his own daughters. But until that happens, you must live with the consequences of your choices and try not to let those choices impact your daughters well being.