Wisdom in Picking a Mate

Text: Genesis 2:18-24

I.         The importance of selecting who you will marry

            A.        Marriage is intended by God to be a lifetime commitment - Matthew 19:3-6

            B.        God hates divorce - Malachi 2:13-16

            C.        God law has marriage lasting the life of the parties involved - Romans 7:2-3

            D.        It is God’s intention that the time be spent happily - Ecclesiastes 9:9

II.        On selecting a wife

            A.        The proper choice is valuable - Proverbs 31:10

            B.        Who you pick can bring you joy or grief - Proverbs 12:4

            C.        Guidelines

                        1.         Seek help from God because a good wife is a gift from God - Proverbs 18:22; 19:14

                        2.         Do not place a priority on looks - Proverbs 31:30

                        3.         We should look as God does - I Peter 3:3-4

                        4.         Look for a woman with discretion - Proverbs 11:22

                                    a.         Discretion is having good judgment. The ability to do the right thing at the right time.

                                    b.         Men like to be seen as “heros” so they tend to pick women who need rescuing

                                    c.         But a woman who constantly needs saving because of her poor choices doesn’t make a good wife

                                    d.         It is one of the tactics some women use to snare men - Proverbs 9:13

                        5.         Look for a woman who is constructive and not destructive - Proverbs 14:1

                        6.         Avoid an argumentative (contentious) woman - Proverbs 27:15-16

                                    a.         Such a woman is rarely pleased by what is around her, including you.

                                    b.         Proverbs 21:9, 19

III.       On selecting a husband

            A.        You can find out a lot about a man by observation

                        1.         How does he treat animals? - Proverbs 12:10

                        2.         Does he listen to advice? - Proverbs 12:15

                        3.         What are his friends like? - Proverbs 13:20

                        4.         Is he able to control his anger? - Proverbs 14:29

                        5.         Does he want to get rich quick? - Proverbs 15:27

                        6.         Does he always have something to say about everything? - Proverbs 17:27-28

                        7.         Does he help the less fortunate? - Proverbs 21:13

            B.        Men to avoid

                        1.         The womanizer or flirt - Proverbs 6:27-28

                        2.         The quick-tempered man - Proverbs 22:24-25

                        3.         The man who uses alcohol or drugs - Proverbs 23:29-30

            C.        Women have a tendency to accept someone they believe they can improve - I Corinthians 15:33

IV.      Giving thought for the future

            A.        We tend to be rash or impulsive when we are young - Proverbs 19:2; 21:5

                        1.         But the typical couple, if they remain married will live together 50 years or more.

                        2.         We see the immediate pleasure and fun, but will it last?

                        3.         Often we mistake what we imagine to be reality

                        4.         Unaware of problems because there wasn’t enough time to notice them

            B.        We tend to go with what is immediately available

                        1.         I often ask young people to decide who they would like to marry when they aren’t going with anyone and have no particular person in mind

                        2.         Over look problems, pretending they are not there or don’t matter

            C.        We tend to think only about ourselves

                        1.         Is this the person I want raising my children?

            D.        We tend to downplay dangers

                        1.         The reason to avoid mixed religion marriages - Nehemiah 13:23-27

                        2.         Most couples think, they can handle mixed religions – he’ll go one way and she another – until children come along

V.        Who you marry is a decision that affects the rest of your life. Make that decision with wisdom.